Loss and Grieving

There are two sacred and mystical moments in everyone’s life: the moment the soul enters the body and the moment the soul leaves the body. We call these moments birth and death. The first is usually a cause for rejoicing and celebration, while the latter is often feared and met with tears of sadness.

Reflect for a moment on birth: from where did this soul come? Reflect for a moment on death: to where will this soul go? Is there a soul? These are the great mysteries that we have all contemplated at some point in our lives.

We can remain philosophical about the existence and nature of the soul and its journey, but we can never really know until we so fully merge with that higher aspect of who we are by delving deeper into the spiritual path and thereby shattering the illusions and limitations of who we believe ourselves to be. Only then we fully realize we are not simply one dimensional human beings but vast and infinite soul beings.

To be consumed by the philosophy surrounding the enigmas of the soul or spirit will not lead to many answers. The understanding needs to begin with that which is within reach, that which is graspable. What is within reach and graspable? Your own mortal heart.

We could not endeavor to understand the distant stars, planets and galaxies if we didn’t first understanding this earthly abode. We had to first understand what was graspable; the laws of gravity, physics, matters, and so on. Equally we must first understand our own physical form and mortality. Why? Because there must be some fundamental and significant reason as to why the soul inhabits a physical form in the first place.

Does the soul enter a body haphazardly or is there a higher reason? Many religious teachings believe that the soul incarnates into a body to learn certain lessons that only the physical realm can provide. Some would even go so far as to say the every soul is an aspect of God, and that we are all thus here as part of God experiencing the material world.

No matter what lies after death it is all speculation and conjecture, and you will not truly know until you experience it for yourself.

To me, what seems to be of more importance is that which is graspable and within reach here an now – not what may or may not be after death. The bigger question is not so metaphysical, not so esoteric, but is simply: what significance can we give to our life today in this very moment?

We have caused others pain and we have felt our own pain. We have laughed and we have cried. We can watch thousands and even millions of people suffer on the television and it may affect us a little or perhaps not even at all, but when the suffering is our own suddenly we remember how deep pain can go.

When someone we love dearly departs this life, we may suffer the loss so profoundly as if our hearts are being ripped apart. Sorrow can go so deep within us that at times we wish we could leave this earth as well. Suddenly we realize how deeply we love. Suddenly we are forced to remember we have a heart.

Death can bring out so many emotions: confusion, fear, forgiveness, love, sadness, and even anger. But these are the difficult lessons that we must all witness and grow from, for each have the power to raise our consciousness and to grow in compassion.

It is okay to be sad. It is okay to grieve. The sense of loss reminds us that we have a heart capable of feeling such profound emotion. It’s like a sudden jolt to the heart chakra, revealing our capacity to love. Loss reminds us to always cherish the people close to us and to never hold back from loving them, for we never know when they may also depart. Unfortunately, all too often these lessons forgotten over time.

We could watch the suffering of others from a distance but until we experience it for ourselves we know absolutely nothing about it. The person in the final moments before death is learning many things. We as the loved ones experiencing the loss learn many things. And one day someone who cares about us will learn about suffering from our own death. This is the cycle.

Death, whether other’s death or our own, teaches us something so intimate if we are truly aware and listen. And if we are blessed to learn something through it, it is essential that we hold these lessons very dearly within our hearts. As dearly as we hold our departed loved ones in our hearts, so too must we hold the lessons, just as close, as difficult as it may be.

The heart is fragile. Love is fragile. Life is fragile and so fleeting. Understanding this, how can we squander it so foolishly and selfishly as we do? This needs to be pondered. With every birth a death comes as a guarantee. And this is beautiful if we can release our fears of the unknown. Death is a doorway into a mystery and a chance to begin a new cycle.

Remembering our own mortality and the lessons of loss gives us the perspective to honour and cherish life and the desire to cause no harm nor suffering for any sentient being. You are alive today, but you may not be tomorrow or even in the next breath so honour your life and do good things with the short time you have here in this body. By living each day with loving kindness, by giving freely of your love, and by remembering all the lessons that both life and death have given you, you will live without regrets.

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