{"id":4331,"date":"2011-06-07T22:23:28","date_gmt":"2011-06-07T22:23:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/divineearth.org\/main\/?p=4331"},"modified":"2011-06-07T22:23:28","modified_gmt":"2011-06-07T22:23:28","slug":"zen-sarcasm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/divineearth.org\/main\/zen-sarcasm\/","title":{"rendered":"Zen Sarcasm"},"content":{"rendered":"
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. \r\nDo not walk ahead of me,\u00a0for\u00a0I may not follow. \r\nDo not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me\u00a0the hell alone.\r\n\r\n2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and\r\nleaky\u00a0tire.\r\n\r\n3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your\r\nneighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.\r\n\r\n4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.\r\n\r\n5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.\r\n\r\n6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.\r\n\r\n7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of\r\ncar\u00a0payments.\r\n\r\n8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their\r\nshoes.\u00a0\u00a0That\u00a0way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have\r\ntheir shoes.\r\n\r\n9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.\r\n\r\n10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. \r\nTeach him how to fish, and\u00a0he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.\r\n\r\n11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was\r\nprobably\u00a0worth it.\r\n\r\n12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.\r\n\r\n13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.\r\n\r\n14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.\r\n\r\n15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put\r\nit\u00a0back in your pocket.\r\n\r\n16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.\r\n\r\n17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark\r\nside,\u00a0and\u00a0it holds the universe together.\r\n\r\n18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.\r\n\r\n19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.\r\n\r\n20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.\r\n\r\n21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.\r\n\r\n22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a\r\nlaxative\u00a0on\u00a0the same night.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,\u00a0for\u00a0I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me\u00a0the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky\u00a0tire. 3. It’s \u2026<\/p>\n
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