Coralina,
Your post only made me to look at myself, as I am also trying to do this “inside” cleaning job. Maybe in a few years, I will also find that I might have said things here that will not correspond with who I am at that moment in time, as I only hope to be better than I am now. I have come across a little fable by Paul Coelho, that took me back an idea that I took from this post, and I wanted to share it with you if I may:

"The master said: "When we sense that the time has come for a change, we begin -- unconsciously -- to run the tape again, to view every defeat we have experienced until then. "And, of course, as we grow older, our number of difficult moments grows larger. But, at the same time, experience provides us with better means of overcoming those defeats, and of finding the path that allows us to go forward. We have to play that second tape on our mental VCR, too. "If we only watch the tape of our defeats, we become paralyzed. If we only watch the tape of our successes, we wind up thinking we are wiser than we really are. "We need both of those tapes."