Each day is a blessing to share another blissful day with Mom ~

Healing prayers and eternal blessings and love ~ Coralina ~

Dear Coralina,
I am so moved by such beautiful expressions of love, hope, joy, and sorrow ... by you ... and by all here at Divine Earth and I too offer my prayers and sincere regards for you and your mother.

At an early age I lost my first brother, he was 21, I was 5. To this day I remember his wonderful caring spirit surrounding me during his funeral and in days that followed ... I don't know who else noticed I didn't discuss it with anyone, nor could I explain it. I have never forgotten it. Similar experiences followed when several other family members (relatives, friends, and close acquaintances) left this life to be born onto eternity. Our immediate family of 9 is now 3 .. myself, my sister and one brother. I too have witnessed the joy and pain of loving and sharing life with the best of the best. I have asked God to take me instead of them, I have asked God to let me endure their pain instead of them ... and sometimes I think He let me bear some of their pain.

May you both remain joyful and free from pain and when the time does come for a new beginning, know this ... you will always be together. Cherish the time you have now and know everything will be fine. You are your Mother's joy and spirit as She is yours.

You are an Artist Coralina create something with your mother to have for all your days to show your children and grandchildren. Memories are worth a thousand words. I will be praying for her and you to have a wonderful time together.

Coralina, I feel your pain my father also died when we were to young to lose a father. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman as mine is. Take each day to embrace her essence, embrace her smile, laugh with her, laugh about anything, laugh about everything. Know that every day she lived she lived with and her family in her heart. Know that she had the joy of true love. Do the things in these days that you will remember for the rest of your life. Know that the little things are what is important in life. Bring her fresh flowers when she is sick, have a special lunch with her or tea in bed when she needs to rest and chat for hours. Cancer is so common these days it will touch everyone’s life at some time. Embrace those around you in you physical presents. My family has adopted many grandmothers, sisters, mothers, brothers that needed our love. These ones will offer much love to you in your present and future…..

May the angles be with you and help your mother through this time

Sometimes just having a friend with an open ear listen to your innermost fears and worries can be healing. This is the blessing of belonging to a community, like ours here. We share each other's joy and in so doing the joy grows. We share each other's sorrow and in so doing the sorrow fades. Let our purpose be to shoulder each other in times of sorrow and rejoice together in times of joy.

Coralina,

Saying nothing seems incorrect What to say isn't clear.

My dad died a slow death. He had a tough upbringing and left home at 16. He hitchhiked to Washington DC to live with his sister and to finish high school. His parents were Baptist and believed in stern punishment. Dad's motive for leaving home was that his dad had caught him kissing a girl and beat my dad for it. My dad packed up and left that night. Unfortunately dad never forgave grandpa. They associated and went fishing together, occasionally, but love, healing, and forgiveness never blossomed between them. Dad raised me the opposite of his father. He never hit me, and never yelled at me.

At 12, my dad drank some brandy wine and was drunk. It was on the night of a party at his parent's home. That was the first time that my dad felt warmth for his parents. It was another 7 years before he drank again, but when he did he didn't stop. He became addicted. When I was in the sixth grade mom kicked dad out. Dad got sober. He became a wonderful member of AA, traveling around giving his story. I learned a lot at those meetings. I learned a lot about him, and about communicating, being vulnerable, accessible, and about listening. I got to see him playing something of a hero. At the end of his life, after losing a leg and enduring a failing heart, dad began drinking again. It was painful. But I knew years before he died that our time was measured, and because of that I sat before him and we had a funeral together. I told him everything I could have ever wanted to say. I cried my eyes out. Dad told me that we would meet again.

Another story that comes to mind is of my best friend's mom, Kate. Her mother died of cancer. I mentioned to Kate when I was in high school that I was afraid that I might suffer from my dad's fate. That's when she told me about her mother dying of cancer. She told me that she would never worry over a thing like that. That she would never entertain the idea of developing cancer, and that I should never think about having heart disease. Kate is 55, and is one of the youngest, most vibrant women I know. She is brave, beautiful, inspiring, and engaged in life. (She loves Johannes' music too) She and her husband take dance classes, they entertain guests and dance at their parties, she teaches yoga, and is a college instructor. She is an active grandmother. I've learned from her that living is the best way of being alive. Of course our approach to living is different, but the main thing is being inspired.

My dad smoked and drank because his self respect wasn't tended in his youth. He internalized the negative messages that were given to him, and he harbored his hurts. I learned from watching my dad that we don't have to make the same choices that our parents made. I choose life, love, and kindness, because that's what dad taught me. I choose health, and forgiveness because that's what he would want for me. Once, when I was 12, I drove a car through our garage door. We weren't rich. Dad got home, and he was upset. He came to my room and told me that if he were grandpa, I would be getting a beating. He didn't know what to say, what to do. He forgave me. He never brought it up again. He choose a different path.

The point that caught my attention the most from you post, is that both of your parents gave up the activities from which they drew their joy. Surely there is a lesson in that.

I wish joy for your mother, joy and detachment. And even more for you, I wish solace, faith, and an abundant aspiration to know directly, your deepest worth.